A letter last week to "Raising Good Kids in Tough Times" asked about a 5-year-old's problem with dealing her parents' conflict. I replied with the following note and added a recent column.

Thank you for wirting CCBS. Of course, an exchange of e-mails is not sufficient to solve any problem and you'll want to consider my remarks in view of your own experience with your 5-year-old daughter.
That said, I am following this note with a recent newspaper column that might help with her reactions to her Mom and Dad's struggle with their divorce.
I am sure I am only speaking to a part of the problem but I think examples of how to act toward her parents are being put before her in the discussions of the parents' problems. Kids copy. Much more than we think.
She knows about the problem so let's keep the reminders of the details out of it. Make discussions of ex's mistakes, meaness and attitudes off limits.

The column is more about the style she copies but she also takes in details and mimicks the emotions.

Please read the column when you have time. And please write again and tell me your reactions.

Rog McIntire